$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
