my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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