My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize