Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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