It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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