i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
