What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
