My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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