To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
