ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
