Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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