so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
