its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How does one acquire holy water?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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