I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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