How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
