My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
