For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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