His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
