So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
