Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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