i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
