i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
