Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
