Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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