We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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