I need help removing her.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
