Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
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apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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