And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
