Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
