apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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