oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we're making bets on your personal life
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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