Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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