Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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