and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
