i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
