I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
