Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
