dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize