Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
