Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
