Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
