I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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