dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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