Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There r osticjed everywhere
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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