I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
