What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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