I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
