If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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