Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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