babies were throwing up all over the place
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
