I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
