then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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