Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
