We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
