if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
