So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
