RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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